For this discussion board we are going on a little adventure. We are going to visit a regular American family, the Smileys. The Smileys seem to be doing OK, living a middle class life, in a middle class neighborhood. When they first started a family they smiled a lot, and seemed happy. But now the kids are growing fast and life is just happening faster than anyone could have ever thought. Dad works at a local car dealership and mom works as a realtor selling land and houses. Even though they don’t smile as much as they used to, and hang out with friends like they did at one time, they seem to be strolling on OK. If you asked them casually how they are doing, they will offer a half smile and say “Oh, OK. How are you?”
But you have this unique ability to see right through into the very essence of a problem which has been brewing in the Smiley family for many years. Mom and dad are overextended in their responsibilities. They both work full time to afford a house and two cars, albeit modest in style. They really would like for one of them to be able to work part time to spend more time with the children, but continue the current path due to fears of financial insolvency.
They would both like to spend more time with the children but think it would be especially beneficial for at least one of them to stay home at least part of the time. Two of their three children are on the Autism spectrum, with one being considered low end ASD and the other one considered high functioning (Asperger). The parents have had to fight with the school system in order to advocate for special accommodations, their children have been bullied, and have few friends. Tommy is 9, and Timmy is 11. The oldest child, Tammy, 13, is not on the spectrum and sometimes feels as if the parents spend too much attention and energy on Tommy and Timmy. There seems to be a lot of conflict between siblings.
Yet, the Smileys have little support, no family in the area, and what few friends they developed in the past few years have dwindled as friends have pulled away, sometimes judging the Smiley parents as “bad parents” to allow the younger Tommy to get away with all of those “outbursts.”
On top of this, Mr. Smiley has been diagnosed with a slow developing case of Muscular Dystrophy and Mrs. Smiley has had a history of depression which seems to be getting worse. Both Smiley parents feel as if they are “dog paddling” in a tidal wave of mounting concerns. Each day is a struggle. Both parents have begun to engage some of their old demons: alcoholism for Mrs. Smiley and on-line gambling for Mr. Smiley. The Smiley’s long for some type of relief, another life, another job. They have talked about moving. They have talked about divorcing. They have talked about changing careers. They worry about money. They worry about their kids education. They worry about their kids’ lack of friends. They worry about their faith as even their church has not reached out to them.
Tommy is doing poorly in school and may have to be held back. Timmy has occasional strong suicidal-ideation and does not respond well to therapy or medication to manage a Bi-polar condition. Tammy has talked recently about running away and spends a lot of time in chat rooms on the internet talking about people she plans to meet in the near future.
The parents, even if they knew how to handle all of these situations, feel as if they don’t have time to catch up. They are on what feels like the precipice of life and everyday seems a very long, arduous journey. They long for relief, answers, and for things to be like “the good ole days.”
1. Would this scenario be considered a crisis?
2. Why or why not?
3. If so, what kind of crisis?
4. If they came to your office for intervention (you are a social worker) how would you respond and what would you do?
