Some revision and changes need to be done to the attached file (word document). The attached PDF contains comments by the instructor. The main focus of the paper is the analysis of the visuals as I have to deeply discuss the rehtorical appeals (pathos, logos, ethos, and kairos). Besides the comments on the PDF, here are other written comments from the instructor,
*Analysis: “We don’t get the actual analysis of the visual rhetoric until around the beginning of the third page. There also seems to be some confusion over the terms ethos/pathos/logos. This confusion means the analysis is only half-stated. We see what they do (show oil spills), but then are told simply that this shows why it is “morally wrong,” without specific analysis about how this is intended to affect the audience. How does the appeal to a specific rhetorical device accomplish this effect? How does it make the audience think in that particular way?”
*Evidence: “I would like to know more about Color Wheel Pro/what it is trustworthy. Make sure that if you cite something, I’m clear on what is being cited/how it’s being cited (who is the author and what were they researching?). And make sure that you are clear on the rhetorical appeals”
*Organization: “The first two body paragraphs could be heavily condensed, as they cover mostly background on GreenPeace, rather than elements of the images themselves. After that the organization is well done overall, but make sure that it supports a careful and thorough analysis.”
*Format: “Be sure to choose a formatting guide (MLA or APA) that is appropriate to your major. For help generating citations, visit Knightcite.com. If you’d like a resource that locates source citations for you, try worldcat.org. Finally, for help creating citations on your own, check out the MyReviewers Community Comments Textbook on your sidebar, writingcommons.org or OWL Purdue.”
*Style: “Be careful about using a tone that conveys personal opinion/conviction rather than academic analysis. “We are in a position to either keep the planet healthy or destroy it,” sounds like you have a very particular point-of-view, and makes this sound like an analysis of the rhetorical techniques and more like a pitch as to why their argument is “moral”/”correct”.”
*Endnote: “You’ve got two wonderful images here, which are rich with rhetorical techniques. This paper needs to focus more heavily on how those techniques are intended to work, rather than on what Greenpeace does. Make sure that not only do you point what the image does, but how the audience is supposed to be affected: what is the mechanism of the rhetorical appeals.
